A Place to Go

People leave, and sometimes it is forever

And, there is no going back ever

I lost someone dear

But, I also lost a place to go

To do the things that I used to

And be that person when I am with them

That is gone forever too

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And, I realize all we have is memories

To fall back on, in times such as this

Then, I cannot help but wonder

About those memories that were never made

Because, we did not tell things to each other

Those words could have been my place to go

If only it was spoken in time.

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PoemX: Misunderstood

To say the right thing, and be perceived wrong

To be someone, and is mistaken for someone else

To do what seems right, and is told it was wrong

To want to dream, but end up having no sleep

To hold people close, only to see them drift away

To seek help, and be ignored

To tell something and be falsely quoted

To show courage and is asked to fear the norms

Independent, and called selfish

Confident, and deemed arrogant

Proud, and told boisterous

Ambitious, and judged greed

Misunderstood!!

P.S

I started this PoemX series long back to write about feelings/emotions. I have not been consistent at it.

And, the other day I saw Robert Plutchik’s theory that says there are some eight basic emotions. Then I read Aristotle’s “Rhetoric” and Darwin’s view on emotions.

But none of them has anything to say about being misunderstood. I feel that it is the most common emotion that is not often acknowledged and hence, honoring it with few words.

Captive Minds

It is not really crazy how things change over time, it is just meant to be

The things once enjoyed become drudgery, like say a weekend, only chores to be done

Shuddering at the thought of living in places that are remembered with fondness, even for few days

No longer in touch with people to whom everything was shared a while back

And, the helplessness to share real feelings with those that matter, for fear of rejection

What if they also leave; what if it also ends; what if it all comes crashing down

Reeling at the thought of it; worries playing at the back of mind in shuffle mode

 

On the outward, it is all calm; No one sees the undercurrents

People call it whatever that pleases them-indifference, silence, mature, arrogant

Some say take it easy, this is nothing and dismiss the notion that it ever existed

Some dismisses you; say nothing can be done about it

An Imprisoned Mind by Stein T Skavaas

And, it all hides behind the extensive to do list that are made every day

Bathroom floors and kitchen slabs that are scrubbed repeatedly

Cupboards that are pulled out, organised, put back and re-organised

Checklists of which tasks are crossed and filled in again

 

It all hides behind the daily routine that is built to justify living

The same cycle every day, to the point of developing a OCD

Where, even for good, a change in pattern makes us insecure

A kind of Stockholm syndrome, where we love being our own hostage

 

We are the captive

But we are also the captor

And admittedly, we love being both

Imaginary Friend 2.0

You are the character from the book that I felt one with,

To live a thousand different lives in one birth

You are the quotes from great men, celebrities and obscure strangers,

Nevertheless I felt it was one-on-one discussions with me

You are the words that I read in between the lines in that poem,

But could not forget for a day and half

You are the talk shows that I listen to,

For inspiration has to be experienced and not a cacophony

You are the random pics I see on those apps,

And it fills the empty spaces between non-existent conversations

You are the stories I scrolled down at the swipe of a finger,

Only to let it linger at the back of my head for hours

Image result for imaginary friend art

 

You are that imaginary friend from my childhood that never left me,

Or on second thoughts, the one that I did not let go

For you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely

 

 

Shell on the Shore

Friendship and people was never my thing

Not that I did not like to have either in my life

I just did not understand how to make friends

“Awkward” will be an understatement to describe me

 

Then, I met someone who had so many friends

“Effortless” is how I describe him

He said, you don’t make friends

You be a friend- be mine first

My first friend he became, but I was not his last

I stood at its mouth of his expanding friend circle, waiting to be absorbed in

I was rejected, like a shell that is returned to the shore by a wave

The same wave that swept it in at the first place

 

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I let go of it all- Such a pain to try

Then, friends happened on its own or so I thought

I bragged that I also have friends and He said ‘I told you so’

For once I was there for someone, without seeking returns

 

But, soon I felt I was just a cog in the wheel

People text me and I know they need help

One day I do not reach out and no one misses me

Random texts, forwards and mindless conversations- but no one missed me?

 

I withdrew further into my shell, told him- only you can do it

Wept my weekend away- talked to myself

Reassured that, I am there for myself

It may not be a lonely end, hopefully

 

I walk into the room- relieved to see my cactus plant

I have you at least I tell it

A second glance and I see it is dying too

What was wrong? Too much water or too less sun

I will never know and does that matter,

Now that I have really lost the hope forever

Tears are not just water!

Tears rolls down your cheek
And, if you are a man, you are a goner
“Boys do not cry!”
For a woman, is it not her (only) weapon
“Here she goes again”

But think twice, are tears just water?
Or is water what you are expected to be?
Colorless, odorless and fit the shape of any container.

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To evaporate and disappear when you feel the heat,
And to pour over and cool down when others feel the heat.
To be the magical life-giver, while being polluted and plundered to sustain the greed.

Yes, it is the greed of others that you not cry; to tout crying as weakness.
If only more people cried, and were not denied the emotion they felt.
There would have been more happy tears than sad,                                             World would have been a better place.