Chronic Nostalgia

Here I am, with few days to my wedding and feeling “Oh my God, I waited so long for this day to come”. And a meek voice inside me clears it throat and calls out “Was it that long really??”

The timeline in my Facebook profile (even I don’t really like it) shows my life chronologically segmented into so many chapters. It seems to say: “Hello, 25 years have passed”. I shake my head in disbelief. Almost all the happenings that mark my life and make it worthwhile seem to have happened yesterday. I swear, I can almost see it in my mind’s eye and feel it too.

I sit back and eye the packed suitcases, all set for the new beginning. At one point the voice of reason told: This is called the phases of life, we make a pit stop here and there, to move on and on. I do not know where it got this idea, may be subconscious mind got it, while I watching some soaps on the television. But I chose to ignore it and there is a reason why I did that also.

Who said that a new beginning is always the end of another?

I may be a mother, but I am a child too. I may be a teacher, but I am a student too. I may be a leader, but I am a follower too.

Perhaps we are training the mind to believe that there are phases of life and that at each phase there is an expected behaviour associated with it. If life were to be considered a river, then these phases of life concept would be like building dams on it to restrict the flow.

Yeah, I am 25 and am getting married. So it does not mean that I fall into the “Aunty League” and I cannot show child like enthusiasm at times. I need not shed the girlishness in me. Similarly, if a 10 year old can rise up and talk maturely enough, we need not chide them by saying “This talk is not for your age”. Let them express opinion, immaterial of whether they are right or wrong. Save the judging mentality for another day and encourage them to speak their mind, develop their thought process and face life head on.

Every other day we learn new things and it’s always a new beginning. But it is not the end of something at the same time. I like to call this feeling chronic nostalgia. The current is always reminiscent of past. It is like an avalanche of beginnings, all intertwined and forming a universal abode, which we call “Life”.

 Life is a continuum, it’s like pearls strung together to form a beautiful necklace. One pearl lost and it is not beautiful anymore. For us, the pearls are our memories, string it into a necklace, keep it close to heart and go in search for another pearl to make the ensemble all the more beautiful.



3 Replies to “Chronic Nostalgia”

  1. Very nicely penned.. Loved the way’ve you’ve put across the one relationship starting yet another never ending thing.. And as far as the ‘Aunty’ thing is concerned, well it shall be considered 😉


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